Press release – US to declassify and distribute 80 years of xeno info Presented verbatim as released by the Office of the White House Press Secretary – FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: 1 JULY...
Leaked emails reveal extraterrestrial threat, ape research director A series of emails, displayed at the end of this article with names removed to protect my sources, was...
BREAKING – US involved in military action in Turkey ANKARA, TURKEY – Military vehicles, including aircraft and ground vehicles, were spotted taking part in some sort of raid...
Press release – US/UK/France/Brazil/Japan alliance Presented verbatim as released by the Office of the Secretary of Defense – From The Desk of the Patriotic...
US President Buttes undergoes rebirth into sobriety Earlier today, President Noah Buttes announced that he has forsaken drugs and alcohol, and that his administration has entered...
Patriotic Bear Wrestling Fight Master General Eagle Commander Recruited by Patriotic Freedom President In the latest of a sorry display of abject self-abuse, the Patriotic Freedom President of Freedom Eagle Country –...
BREAKING: Further insights into apparent Presidential breakdown Several anonymous tips came through with further information as to the strange state of US politics of late. The...
US President issues rambling, barely-coherent mishmash of syllables US President Noah Buttes found his way, perhaps accidentally, to the podium in the Press Room at the White...
BREAKING: DRUNK PRESIDENT: “I AM LEGITIMATELY GOING TO NUKE AUSTRALIA” Earlier today, the Monitor caught up with the Secretary of State, Bruce Willis, and confronted him with a recording...
Senate quashes Executive Order from POTUS, refuses to explain nature of Order WASHINGTON DC – Capitol Hill was in a rare hush this morning as Senate voted unanimously to rescind an...