ANKARA, TURKEY –
Military vehicles, including aircraft and ground vehicles, were spotted taking part in some sort of raid on Turkish soil late last night. The target was unclear, but the sounds of combat, as well as the fact that there are no known treaties between the United States and Turkey that would allow for live-fire training exercises, make clear that this was not a drill.
I caught up with President Buttes, who explained the conflict as a police action against a drug cartel:
The truth is, we were busting a massive drug cartel. To give you an idea of the scale of this cartel – it supplied me with my drugs. In all honesty, the whole drug thing was merely a ruse to get this massive paramilitary organization more out in the open. We seized enough cocaine and other narcotics to buy out the GDP of North Korea.
It seems our President wants us to believe that his rampant drug use was a calculated ruse. Whether this turns out to be accurate, or a convenient excuse, or worse – justification for an invasion to the Middle East, remains to be seen.
More on this story as it develops.